"Don't pick up the baby!" said no one ever...until I got some advice from a fellow twin mommy on Instagram (seriously, thank God for social media) about sleep training twins because let's face it- it's kind of a different beast to tackle. In our experience, not picking up the baby (or babies) has been the absolute key to our success in sleep training. I wanted to share our struggle turned successful journey so that maybe it could offer some relief to another mom in knowing that they are not alone and maybe offer some advice, too. So here is our journey as best as I can explain it...
I am proud to say I am still nursing the twins and we've had such an amazing journey; however since the babies started teething I have became their human pacifier at night. After about, oh say, 7 months of only getting a straight 30 minutes of uninterrupted sleep I knew enough was enough. I would literally nurse the babies to sleep at 7:30pm, then put them in their cribs by 8pm and within 20-30 minutes Wes would wake up crying and if I didn't rush in there to get him he would scream and cry until he'd wake Everly up, too, and let's face it- the only thing worse then one crying baby is TWO crying babies. This trend would continue all night, no joke. An absolute nightmare.
I am proud to say I am still nursing the twins and we've had such an amazing journey; however since the babies started teething I have became their human pacifier at night. After about, oh say, 7 months of only getting a straight 30 minutes of uninterrupted sleep I knew enough was enough. I would literally nurse the babies to sleep at 7:30pm, then put them in their cribs by 8pm and within 20-30 minutes Wes would wake up crying and if I didn't rush in there to get him he would scream and cry until he'd wake Everly up, too, and let's face it- the only thing worse then one crying baby is TWO crying babies. This trend would continue all night, no joke. An absolute nightmare.
We tried so many different things to get the twins to sleep through the night. We tried Essential Oils, but they never worked how I hoped they would. We tried pacifiers; which worked sometimes or other times were viewed as toys and just woke them up. We tried feeding the babies formula before bed to fill their bellies more, but Ev woke up 20 minutes after taking her bottle so we only did that for one night. Ed attempted to rock them out in the living room when they woke in the night, but while Ed was rocking Wes Ev woke up and I couldn't bear to hear her cry so I went in and rocked her and she just wanted me to nurse her. We tried and tried, but we both gave in and I ended up tandem nursing them both back to sleep. It's so hard for me not to give in. We've attempted the 'Cry It Out' method several times, but were never really committed to it. Every time we said we were going to let them cry it out, we always got frustrated because both babies would be crying at the same time and Wes sounded like he was going to make himself throw up. Each time we tried the CIO method I always ended up in tears. Why did this have to be so hard?
After about a week and a half of only getting about an hour or two of sleep each night, I reached my breaking point. I felt like such crap during the day and had awful migraines. I no longer felt like I could be a "fun" or good mom for that matter. I knew something had to change.
Once you get to this point the CIO method becomes so easy because you know it is what is best for your family. If it doesn't feel right and you can't handle it then do not do it. You will know when the time is right for your baby. This is what we did, and what worked for us. If you do something like this you'll probably have to tweak it because no two babies are the same. Once I tandem nursed the twins to sleep, Ed came and took them from me to move them into their cribs. If they woke up we wouldn't go in and pick them up. Not picking them up was absolutely key. We realized that they were crying just to be close to us so by eliminating picking them up they slowly realized that they were not going to get the outcome they wanted. Instead we turned off the sound on their video monitor and did it the old fashioned way- listened with our ears; which isn't as loud as hearing it through the walls AND magnified on the monitor. If their cries sounded like they were going to vomit that is when we knew they needed some reassurance. At that point, Ed would go in their nursery, hug them, lay them down, kiss them and tell them it was time to go to sleep (if this continues, go back in 5 minutes and keep doubling the time until they are asleep). I never entered the room because at night the babies only viewed me as their food source.
They say the CIO method can take 4-7 days. We were hoping to be the lucky parents who had it down after 4 days, but unfortunately the twins both got colds and cut molars during this process. We still stuck with it and said we would only break the rules if they were running a fever. Here is how our 7 days went down...
January 31:
8:25pm Wes woke up.
8:29pm Ev was woken up by Wes.
9:27pm They quieted down, but we're still awake. Wes began dozing off while sitting down and Ev stood up while resting her head on her crib.
9:40pm Wes started back up.
10:00pm Ev fell asleep while Wes sat and cried.
10:15pm Wes fell asleep.
10:40pm Wes woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
2:40am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
4:30am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
6:30am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
7:00am Ev up for good.
8:00am Wes up for good.
8:29pm Ev was woken up by Wes.
9:27pm They quieted down, but we're still awake. Wes began dozing off while sitting down and Ev stood up while resting her head on her crib.
9:40pm Wes started back up.
10:00pm Ev fell asleep while Wes sat and cried.
10:15pm Wes fell asleep.
10:40pm Wes woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
2:40am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
4:30am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
6:30am Ev woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
7:00am Ev up for good.
8:00am Wes up for good.
February 1:
8:10pm Put Wes to bed.
8:15pm Wes woke up crying.
8:25pm Slowly worked sleeping Ev into her crib so Wes' cries wouldn't wake her.
8:40 Wes sat down, but still cried off and on.
9:00pm Wes fell asleep.
4:40am Ev woke up and cried for 10 minutes.
6:50am Ev woke up for good.
7:10am Wes woke up for good.
8:15pm Wes woke up crying.
8:25pm Slowly worked sleeping Ev into her crib so Wes' cries wouldn't wake her.
8:40 Wes sat down, but still cried off and on.
9:00pm Wes fell asleep.
4:40am Ev woke up and cried for 10 minutes.
6:50am Ev woke up for good.
7:10am Wes woke up for good.
February 2:
The kids cried all day because they were so tired from crying at night. They were so exhausted, but only took 1 morning nap for an hour and a half. It was such a rough day.
7:30pm Put both babies to sleep.
7:30pm Put both babies to sleep.
8:05pm Wes woke up screaming and stood up; which woke Ev up in just minutes.
8:25pm Both fell back asleep.
4:30am Wes woke up crying, but quickly went back to sleep.
6:40am Wes woke up and Ev woke up right as I was walking out of the room.
February 3:
Rough day with fevers and coughs.
7:10pm Put both babies to sleep early since they were so tired.
7:42pm Wes woke up and instantly woke Ev. They weren't crying too badly so we didn't go in and check on them.
8:10pm Both back to sleep.
They were both up off and on throughout the night coughing and crying for just a few minutes, but not bad enough to worry.
6:10am Wes woke up for good.
6:10am Wes woke up for good.
6:30am Ev woke up for good.
February 4:
7:30pm Put Wes to bed, but Ev wouldn't unlatch because of teething and after a misunderstanding Ed took her and put her in her crib waking Wes immediately.
8:10pm Ev fell asleep.
10:00pm Wes finally fell asleep.
11:30pm Ev woke up and cried for an hour, then was quiet so I stopped watching the monitor. Shortly after we heard her walking around the corner. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do so I nursed her, while Ed sneakily rigged her crib so that her mattress laid on the floor inside her crib (since it was already on the lowest setting). Wes did not move the entire time and I transferred Ev back into her crib.
2:30am Ev woke up and sat with her legs hanging out of the crib ALL night.
6:20am Gave up on Ev.
7:30 Wes woke up...that was 9 and a half straight hours!! I guess we may be getting somewhere with him.
February 5:
7:00pm Put both babies to bed.
7:30pm Wes woke up.
7:50pm Wes fell asleep.
4:50am Ev woke up for good.
7:00am Wes woke up for good.
February 6:
8:10pm The babes did not want to go to sleep so we put them in their cribs awake.
8:30pm Both babies asleep.
7:00am Ev up for good.
7:15am Wes up for good.
BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!
February 7:
7:45pm Put both babies in their cribs. Wes woke up as Ed laid him down, but he put himself to sleep in 10 min. Ev stayed asleep.
7:30am Ev up for good.
7:45am Wes up for good.
I can not tell you how happy I am that we stuck to this!! It was not easy by any means and honestly the day time was much harder than the night because the poor babies were beyond exhausted. I truly think if they weren't sick this would've been easier, so don't let this scare you off! It is only a week and nothing is better than sleeping (well, besides cuddles from your babies).
I have to say thanks to all the moms who gave me advice to piece this together and thanks to my friends and family for listening to my frustrations throughout the process. Most of all, I couldn't have done this without Ed, so my number 1 advice is to do this with someone there to support you or to keep you occupied during the crying spells because it is not easy no matter how mentally prepared you are!
GOOD LUCK!
10:00pm Wes finally fell asleep.
11:30pm Ev woke up and cried for an hour, then was quiet so I stopped watching the monitor. Shortly after we heard her walking around the corner. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to do so I nursed her, while Ed sneakily rigged her crib so that her mattress laid on the floor inside her crib (since it was already on the lowest setting). Wes did not move the entire time and I transferred Ev back into her crib.
2:30am Ev woke up and sat with her legs hanging out of the crib ALL night.
6:20am Gave up on Ev.
7:30 Wes woke up...that was 9 and a half straight hours!! I guess we may be getting somewhere with him.
February 5:
7:00pm Put both babies to bed.
7:30pm Wes woke up.
7:50pm Wes fell asleep.
4:50am Ev woke up for good.
7:00am Wes woke up for good.
February 6:
8:10pm The babes did not want to go to sleep so we put them in their cribs awake.
8:30pm Both babies asleep.
7:00am Ev up for good.
7:15am Wes up for good.
BEST NIGHT EVER!!!!
February 7:
7:45pm Put both babies in their cribs. Wes woke up as Ed laid him down, but he put himself to sleep in 10 min. Ev stayed asleep.
7:30am Ev up for good.
7:45am Wes up for good.
I can not tell you how happy I am that we stuck to this!! It was not easy by any means and honestly the day time was much harder than the night because the poor babies were beyond exhausted. I truly think if they weren't sick this would've been easier, so don't let this scare you off! It is only a week and nothing is better than sleeping (well, besides cuddles from your babies).
I have to say thanks to all the moms who gave me advice to piece this together and thanks to my friends and family for listening to my frustrations throughout the process. Most of all, I couldn't have done this without Ed, so my number 1 advice is to do this with someone there to support you or to keep you occupied during the crying spells because it is not easy no matter how mentally prepared you are!
GOOD LUCK!
Sincerely,
Recharged, but still highly-caffeinated Mommy of three
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